FLAK: Why The Disney Channel Sucks

In my household, in which only two people know what good television is, there is one channel that is on seventy-percent of the time. That is the Disney Channel.

You’d think that Disney, being one of the greatest movie production companies of all time, would have a fantastic television channel.

But you’d be wrong.

Out of all the shows (of which there are so many that not even a group of ten people can count), there are only three three that are any good. Which are Phineas and Ferb (created by former writers of the simpsons, of course it will be good), I Didn’t Do It (an interesting idea tied together with an okay plot and people who can ACTUALLY ACT) and Good Luck Charlie (which they cancelled anyway, the idiots).

I shall now list the reasons why they’re all rubbish. Hopefully I don’t swear.

I probably will.

1. The plot, story, writing and characters. There is very little plot in any of the shows, just an idea held together by badly written stories and characters. There’s no smartness or charm or interesting parts in the stories.

There are only two things that can make you laugh, which are the rubbish jokes which make you cringe with a giggle and the rubbish lines in the script which are so terrible they’re laughable.

And you can argue that they’re not going for our generation of humor. Which is wrong, because literally all the shows are based in high schools with teenagers as the main characters.

Maybe I’m just different.

2. The acting. Whilst you might get some good actors (diamonds in the rough, if you will), most of them can’t. It’s like in the first Harry Potter movie when none of them can act, to when they’re world known actors. But just the first bit.

When they talk you cringe and when they pretend to be sad you cringe and when they argue you cringe and when they sing you sometimes cringe. Almost every part of the shows they broadcast involve you cringing a lot.

3. The movies. Sometimes they attempt to make a movie. And sometimes they attempt to make one of their awful television shows into an equally awful movie.

Whenever they do this, I cringe and make sure to stay away from that channel at that time. Because if you thought they couldn’t write a 20-minute TV show, wait until you see what they do with movies.

4. This one is more of a personal one, but because it’s all American, two things happen:

The first thing that happens is that the mannerisims and words that are shown in these shows are put upon my brothers, which makes me correct them CONSTANTLY.

Secondly, the way they show foreign countries cultures is in a very ignorant way. For example, in an episode of a television show which I won’t name (its starts with an a.. then a n… then a t… then farm… I may have given it away there…), they go to Australia and there is an Australian person who is basically all the things that an Australian person isn’t… well done.

So that’s my rant about the Disney Channel and why it’s rubbish.

And I didn’t swear once! Woo!

-KT

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