MEDIOCRE:  Jurassic World Review

O.K., maybe I did jump in my seat, once, while watching the CGI bloated “Jurassic World.” But I have to say, the most terrifying part of the film, was finding out how many of my predictions of who would die in the beginning of the film, to be accurate. 

Following the “Jurassic Park” trilogy “Jurassic World” starts off with Gray (Ty Simpkins) and Zach (Nick Robinson) who bid adieus to weeping parents, as they board an airplane headed to the Jurassic World; a Disney-land with dinosaurs. Real ones. It’s an entire island with awful CGI Dinosaurs kept captive. Anyways, in the era in which the movie is set, dinosaurs have become so commonly seen, that “seeing a Stegosaurus is like seeing an elephant,” says Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard.) Tourists aren’t amazed by the gigantic creatures, anymore. So, in order to lure in more people, corporates fund to make a “cooler” dinosaur, by mixing different animal genes, resulting in the uh… Fierce? Indominus rex. (Honestly, though, the thing isn’t as unique-looking as it could be. Nostalgia Critic said this, and I agree; if you could mix animal genetics like that, you could end up with something not as lame as The indominus Rex, which basically looks like a large Velociraptor with a spiky back.) Anyways, one day, Claire, Owen (played by teenage heartthrob, Chris Pratt), and Masrani (Irrfan Khan) go to visit the Indominus Rex. After seeing scratches on the window, they start to think that the killing machine had gotten out of her area of captivity, so Owen and the security guard go into the Dinosaur’s cage to check. Turns out, the scratches were part of the plan for the Indominus Rex, as in the blink of an eye, the creature gives out a ferocious roar and tries to chomp up the two. One gets eaten, and the Indominus Rex escapes, as the action to stop the Dinosaur from killing starts. 

Now, as I have mentioned previously, the scariest part of the film was seeing how many predictions of mine, on who would die, to be accurate. Three minutes of screen time was enough for me, to know the destinies of nearly every main character. It was as easy as ABC to figure it out. It was pretty predictable, as far as characters went. 

That being said, the film was enjoyable, but had many plot-holes, and some terrible moments. Such terrible moments are seen when the T-Rex fights the Indominus, in one of the final scenes of the film. As the two mighty Dinosaurs fight in a sumo-wrestler-with-short-arms way, a large swimming park resident, named the Mosasaurus jumps out of the water to gulp down the Indominus. This fish, who is quite fish-out-of-water in the scene (yes, the pun is intended)  comes out of nowhere, and is such a ridiculous and random way to kill off a monster. 

I can just imagine the conversation of the screenplay writers ensue. It probably went something on the lines of: 

“So…. How do we kill this beast. I mean, it’s destroyed or killed everything it had ever laid eyes on.” 

“Yeah. Hm….. Hey, how about we get this random huge thing to come out of this water area, and eat the Indominus Rex up whole.” 

“Good idea!” 

All I could do, when seeing this scene, was to smash my head onto my invisible table. 

In the film, characters also seem to have an abnormally low IQ of one. The film shows off the stupidity of the characters in many scenes. For example, there is a scene in the film in which Owen and the security guard giddily decide to walk into the Indominus Rex’s cage, thinking that he escaped. They don’t even bother to see where her locater is, so that they can check if she hasn’t gotten out. Yes, they simply head on into her cage. Later, as I have mentioned in the plot summary,  the security guard ends up being eaten.

Finally, too many subplots were crammed in, and though the movie ran smoothly, they were a distraction from the main plot. One subplot, included a talk about Gray and Zach’s parents becoming divorced. But nothing happened after Gray and Zach chatted about it. And, though not exactly a subplot, the relationship of Claire and the mother of the kids should’ve been looked into more thoroughly. 

The film, however, did have some memorable, touching moments. One of these moments included a scene in which Owen and Claire stroked a dying dinosaur with their hands. The dinosaur cried, and Owen patted him gently. Claire comes to realization, that the dinosaurs have lives too. This scene is a mere glimpse at the stellar film “Jurassic World” could have been. 

It’s stuffed with CGI, terribly written, subplot-crammed, but enjoyable. I must admit that. I had fun watching the film, and if in the future, I wouldn’t really mind seeing it again. See it, if you want a fun two hours in your day. 

-TJ 

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